Back to the world of the living

First of all, thanks for all your kind words and thoughts after our latest cycle got canceled. It was a bit of a nasty surprise, but sadly wasn’t entirely unexpected.

I got quite a few e-mails from folks who had suggestions about how to overcome or improve our chances on the next go around. Lest you think I don’t read or appreciate the advice, here are a couple responses.

Take Lupron next time so you don’t ovulate too early. Everyone knows you can’t ovulate on Lupron.

The hubby and I sometimes joke that you can’t control me, you can only hope to contain me. This is a brilliant suggestion that would likely work for almost everyone. Amazingly, when our IVF cycle was canceled, I did ovulate on lupron. 24 follicles, 18 mature eggs by our RE’s estimate. Sadly, lupron can’t hold back my stunningly ill-behaved ovaries. Is there a corollary to Lupron that might work better for me?

You should skip IUI and just go straight to IVF.

And I totally agree. I want this IUI to work, really I do, as it involves less risk and surgery and generally complicated facets than IVF. Really, I wish it would work. But when I heard (for the fourth time) that our cycle had been canceled, I couldn’t help but think “Man, I’m sick of this shit.” Yes, we had an IVF cycle canceled too, but this is three IUIs canceled either because I did or did not ovulate early enough or I ovulated too early. And let’s not forget the Clomid cycle where pretty much the same thing happened.

That said, we live in Israel now. Most (not all, but really most) of our infertility treatment is covered by state healthcare, but that means you have to play by the doctor’s rules. And if the doctor says IUI, then you’re doing an IUI. When we were in the U.S. and had coverage for IVF, I demanded that we not waste our time trying to do another IUI. Our doc listened and agreed we should just go on to the big stuff. I’m going to try and discuss it with my doc here too, but I’m not sure where it will get me. And I’d really really like for IUI to work. The whole cycle can be done locally this way and it’s so much easier on so many levels.

Demand monitoring everyday when your follicles get bigger. Ask your doctor to trigger earlier so you don’t miss ovulation. And stand up for yourself since you seem pretty good at predicting ovulation.

This, I think, is probably the best advice I’ve received.

When the hubby and I were walking home from the doctor’s office on Friday morning, bummed at the bad news, I tried to explain to him why I wasn’t angry (because, well, he certainly was). I’ve kind of accepted that every RE and infertility staff that treats me will completely blow a cycle in learning about my incorrigible ovaries. They cannot be taught; they will not listen. It doesn’t matter if I have all the protocols of my effed IVF cycle; they refuse to listen to me when I say that I’m about to ovulate and that it really would be better if we triggered now.

With two IUIs canceled in Israel so far (one due to bad holiday scheduling, one to early ovulation), it’s my hope that my warnings will count for more the next go around. And if they refuse to trigger when I think I’m about to ovulate, then the hubby and I will give it the old college try. And if they won’t trigger a bit earlier, then maybe I can convince them to do bloodwork and ultrasound every day, instead of every other.

In any event, I’m not going to give up. And I’m going to try and advocate for my own needs better than I have for the last few months. I’ve used my lack of Hebrew skills as a cop out to keep my mouth shut, but I really need to stand up for myself again.

****

Lest you think I’ve been wallowing in self pity for the last few days, I assure you it’s been better than that. I’ve been wallowing in a pool of phlegm instead. Tasty! Goes well with latkes! Just in time for Hanukkah.

I’ve been told that when you make an international move (or is this just a move to Israel?) that you’re highly likely to come down with more illnesses for the first year or so. Indeed, when I talk to some of my coworkers, they tell tales of recurrent strep throat and bronchitis, flu bugs that wouldn’t go away and stomach viruses aplenty. I can’t say I’ve been that sick, but I have been a lot sicker than I ever was in the U.S. What’s more, the hubby who does not ever get sick, has actually had a couple rough days since we moved. He may have actually sneezed once too.

In any event, I’ve gone from discomfort from the Gonal F (headaches and bloating) which leveled me over shabbos to a nasty head cold that came in Sunday night. I’ve been subsisting on some delicious bagels which were delivered by our adoptive family (thanks again guys!) and ramen noodles. Which are kosher here. Under the rabbinate of Singapore. I can honestly say I would not have thought that Singapore would have a rabbi, let alone a rabbinate.

That said, we managed to get some stuff done around the house these last couple days. Our Internet issues are finally solved (new WiFi router is in place and the Vonage box should be fixed shortly) and we went on a tour of Jerusalem on Sunday before I got sick.

Or East Jerusalem actually. As in Arab Jerusalem. I was kind of suprised they would trot our tour buses through there. But it was a nice trip and I got to see more of Wadi Joz (up close and personal) and Ramallah (from the highway) than I ever really wanted. It was a nice tour over all though and a good time was had by most. Even if I did want to bury the kid sitting behind me at the archaeological dig on Mount Scopus.

I’m still getting caught up on reading other blogs, but I hope to start commenting again soon.

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