Thanks for the assvice

Had a talk with the nurse today. I hope I’m able to convey her kindness below.

Issue: Having three separate appointments in the next week. Can we please condense at least a couple of them?

Answer: No. Which means we’ll have to drive into Pittsburgh on a Yom Tov. We have already spoken to a reliable Rav who says it’s alright given that we haven’t had our orthodox conversion yet and it’s for an important medical issue.

Issue: Can’t keep anything down (okay, can’t keep most things down) presumably due to BCPs (Nortrel – anyone ever heard of them? They’re a new type of pill that combines hormones with syrup of ipecac).

Answer: Tough shit. Try taking them with food (thanks, I was jackass). Or try taking them before you go to bed (thanks, tried to do that too). You said you wanted to lose weight, didn’t you? (I’m down nine pounds in less than a week) If you can’t take the BCPs you can adopt.

And no, I’m not exaggerating that. She actually told me to adopt.

My doctor and nurses are a lot of things. Qualified. Experienced. And according to the CDC, exceptionally good at what they do — especially since they do not turn away couples because they might be less likely to conceive.

And then there’s what they’re not: Kind, understanding, human beings. Patient. Blessed with a good bedside manner.

I’m getting treated like shit. The sad part is, I won’t mind it a bit if it gets me pregnant.

Meanwhile, I’ve turned my emotional care over to Dr. Alice Domar by way of her “Conquering Infertility” book.

Anyone else read it? So far so good. If nothing else, I’ve already found a litany of aspects that describe my situation:

Wife is approx. one year ahead of husband mentally when it comes to treating infertility.

Husband does not understand (or appear to care) about medical details or risk factors.

And so on. And I’m also thinking of looking into some alternative therapies to go with this cycle.

Acupuncture, yoga, meditation, etc. Anyone got any suggestions for what helped them to deal with stress (’cause cycle or not, I could use a bit of help in this department).

P.S. — the cycle is still very much game on.


7 responses to “Thanks for the assvice

  1. Wow, she really said that? And what did she sound like after you reached through the phone and throttled her? You didn’t do that? I deeply admire your restraint. And, yeah, if a nurse did that to me, I wouldn’t give a sh*t as long as I took home a baby after 40 weeks, either.

  2. My clinic offered acupuncture immediately before and after embryo transfer with IVF. I’d done acupuncture for several months before while doing IUIs and got nowhere, but did the two sessions (which were relaxing, and not stressful because they were in the same building as the transfer itself) with the IVF. I’m facing 37 weeks and a scheduled c-section next week, so I’d say try day-of-transfer acupuncture if your clinic offers it.

  3. Wow, I had to deal with some insensitivity at my RE’s office, but just leaves me speechless, it’s so totally out of line. If things do work out for you, or not, you should write a letter. Patients should not be treated like that.

    I’ve actually turned real therapy (e.g., mental health) to try to get myself calmed down. We’ve done some anti-anxiety self-calming techniques, and I have a relaxation CD that I listen to (although perhaps not as much as I should). Even though insurance covers little else about IF, at least it covers mental health!

  4. OMG, I am so sorry that you’re being treated with that level of insensitivity. It makes me want to pick up the phone and kick some a** on your behalf. Hopefully it will all be worth it but in the meantime, remember that you are their customer and you deserve to be treated with respect and compassion.

  5. sariel & shlomit

    wow. that is unbelievable. bedside manner from h*ll…though i’m with you, if it ends up in a successful pregnancy, almost anything can be forgiven and forgotten…all the best…
    shabbat shalom

  6. Hypnotherapy is just amazing, and has kep me sane through several ill-fated pregnancies. As well as being great for calming, it helps with positive visualisation.

    I wish you luck!


  7. Wow, I thought I had a strange RE office with my first RE — I think you have me beat. You can talk to your RE about switching the the patch– it doesn’t make you sick, that is what I used. Or you can chat with your regular (non-re) doctor and see if they’d be ok giving you something like zofran which is a anti-nausea med that doesn’t interfere with other meds and I was told it was fine to take.

    I did accupuncture all during my IVF– and found it helpful- relaxing, and they are just releasing studies that it increases your sucess rates if you do it immediately post transfer. Mine came to the house the day of the transfer and then the 2 following days. I did get a BFP- and it did not end well — but that would be through no fault of the accupunturist or really anyone else. Just happens sometimes.

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