If you live in Israel, will you be my friend?

You will? Great! Now will you be my family?

Ahh. Had the phone call from the Nefesh B Nefesh staff today. Although they were nice enough as they interviewed us about our application, I got the feeling they were doubtful we could make it in Israel.

Amazingly, the sticking point is our social klitah. We don’t have enough friends and family there.

This is largely due to the fact, outside of networking I’ve done through the Web, that we don’t have any friends or family there. We also didn’t have any friends in the place we lived after we graduated from college. And we didn’t know anyone when we moved to Collegetown, USA, either.

B”H We now have many friends in both places. I’m really not fussed about making connections when we move. I just hope NBN and JAFI will give us a chance.


And now, on to your comments. First off — woo hoo — I have friends inside the computer! Thanks so much for leaving comments and visiting my blog. Once I figure out how to do a blogroll, I’ll be glad to add you to it.

Rona Michalson said:
“Gee, Kirby, it’s obvious you haven’t been in baby stores in Israel. Talk about selection! We have American products here, but also European products as well as locally produced items. The prices are pretty decent and you are in for a real treat.”

Umm yeah. Totally busted. Definitely didn’t shop for baby stuff the last time I was there. You’re right, of course. It’s just that sometimes when you read the message boards for pre-aliyah, it makes Israel out to be some sort of third-world country. And I think it’s easy for potential olim to freak out a bit.

If it makes you feel better, we don’t plan on shipping most of our household stuff. We just plan on buying new at IKEA.

Lubyvitcher said:
“Yeah, I love your positive thinking, you are sure you’ll have a baby. I think that Hashem agrees and wants to bring down the brocha…how about if you act like it’s something that needs to be toiveld but can’t be immersed and sell it your non-jewish neighbor for $1 and “borrow” it…..or rent a u-store place and put it there……or give it to a gmach in the zechus of a child….or accept yourself for who you are and pray.
I haven’t seen anything about your feelings about your husbands results….do you feel like too much is on your shoulders?”

Oh gosh. I really hope that isn’t meant in a sarcastic way. I’m taking it at face value. Of course those are options and they are great ones. I do daven regularly. I try to study what I can and take the halichos bas yisroel quite seriously. I do hope that comes across in the blogosphere. My take on it is that I’m saving it for a child. Not necessarily my child. Indeed, it’s been quite handy to give away several things we’ve purchased either when we heard of a family in need of tzedakah or when we’ve had a friend with a new baby.

As for my feelings on my husband’s results — perhaps I’m naive, but I’m actually thrilled that things are getting better. I don’t feel that the weight of this rests on me, but if I could choose, I would much rather have it be my “fault.” It’s been eating my husband up heart and soul when we’ve found out we’re not pregnant every month — I think he felt helpless, since he knew how badly I hurt for a baby, but couldn’t do anything to help with it.

Although it seems that most of the treatment is female-intensive procedures, I’m just glad I’m here to help with the mitzvah of bringing a beautiful neshama for our home.

Thanks for the comments and please keep them coming.


3 responses to “If you live in Israel, will you be my friend?

  1. I don’t live in Israel, but I’ll be your friend here! Wishing you the best this cycle,

  2. It’s funny that you responded to my post that way. I am known for my sarcasm, and hopefully by this point in my life, by how I’ve overcome the need for sarcasm. No, I was not being sarcastic, just emesdik. I am impressed that you daven everyday..it’s a hard one for me, even pre-kids.
    I am usually a lurker and I am ready to taking my blogging to the next level. I finally starting posting here of all places because I like how your yiddishkeit comes across in your posts and that you are a real live person. What do I mean by that? You can listen to Eminem and Aish and not be conflicted about it. Yasher Koach. May Hashem allow you to over come this barrier(and on to the next one, LOL).

  3. Do you have an idea about where in Israel you’re headed? I know that many NBN families have moved here (to Modiin).

    I think the test results sound good… and that’s after having read several hundreds of results from people… Sure, sometimes things take a while, but you have every reason to be optimistic.

    It may be different, but after my first children were born (through IVF), I kept a lot of things. It was only when my youngest were almost 9 and I was remarried that I took the baby clothes down for my new daughter. I am happy that I saved the things, it means I never lost hope of fulfilling my dream to have a big family.

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