Filled with bitachon, baby fever

Bitachon = roughly = hope. Got a better translation? Feel free to jump in.

So although we’re a pretty decent religious Jewish family, every so often we go completely off the derech about a certain thing. I plan on sharing those random sideshow events with you when I get to them because I hope they’ll invite some commentary — and maybe even help to get rid of a little of my guilt.

Sit down before you read this guy. It’s a biggie.

This week’s installment is brought to you by the wealth of baby clothes and gear in my spare bedroom. To those of you who just fell off the couch, don’t say you weren’t warned.

I can’t help myself. I cannot stop buying baby stuff.

My affliction started nearly three years ago when my husband and I were newly married, poor as dirt and presumably fertile. We were concerned that we wouldn’t be able to afford to raise a child when we inevitably got preggers.

And while you do get a few months to save up money for stuff, nine months on a limited income isn’t always enough time to afford the finer things in life: a beautiful crib that would last us for several children (I know, I’m laughing now too), one of those fancy Medela breast pumps and a matching set of Graco baby gear — preferably in the Central Park pattern. And what if we got twins right off the bat? We would never be able to make it.

So we started by saving money. Until I had to shop for a friend’s first baby at Babies R Us. I had never been to one of the stores and was absolutely entranced. When I realized how much money we could save by using the coupons as they became available, I reasoned it was better to purchase some things before we even conceived.

And so it began. It continued when I made my way to the sale racks at Baby Gap, snatching up adorable unisex sleepers at a fraction of their original price. By golly, our kiddo would be looking good and still helping us come in under budget.

By now, we have bathing supplies, a closet full of clothing for the first nine months and everything needed to feed a kiddo (from the bottles, to sanitizers, to food warmers), except the breast pump — since they seem to improve from year to year.

And while I know it flies in the face of the religion I embrace and adore, I can’t help but think it’s alright to have faith in God that we will eventually have a use for all that we have purchased.

To add craziness, I’ve actually budgeted for us to buy additional items if we do end up moving to Israel this summer, since the quality of furniture and other stuff is better and less expensive in the U.S. Can you imagine the shippers unloading at our new apartment? Our neighbors would declare us batshit insane from the get go.

I know that most Jewish families wouldn’t consider even shopping for baby goods prior to bringing the baby home from the hospital — indeed this isn’t a crazy observant Jewish thing, but something adopted by many liberal Jewish families as well. Let alone creating a registry (yeah, we did that too) and (gasp) actually purchasing a wealth of goods.

And as I’ve watched two families this year bury stillborn children who never saw their own delivery dates, I can understand why someone wouldn’t want to come home to a nursery without a baby.

Even some of my non-Jewish heroines inside the computer have been reluctant to outfit the house before their last trimester.

So I guess I’m getting my dirty little secret off my chest — largely because it’s that time of the month and my breasts hurt too much to have anything on my chest — and would really like to know what others think about all of this.

Two other notes: meanwhile, we’ve put some of the “baby goods” to great use around the home. The bottle brush has done wonders for cleaning my coffee thermos. The boppy makes a great bookholder when you’re reading in bed. And the lavender scented bath bubbles knock me out everytime, regardless of how stressful my day has been.

Anyone got a good non-baby use for a diaper genie?

And finally: although we might be outfitted to the teeth to deal with kiddos, we absolutely will not comment on what we might plan on naming our IY”H children.

We wouldn’t speak of it if we had to.

Are you crazy? Just invite the evil eye into our home, why don’t you?


3 responses to “Filled with bitachon, baby fever

  1. Gee, Kirby, it’s obvious you haven’t been in baby stores in Israel. Talk about selection! We have American products here, but also European products as well as locally produced items. The prices are pretty decent and you are in for a real treat.
    When my daughter Rachel — — was struggling with infertility I told her that I knew that someday she would be a mom. I never for once doubted it. She now has 5 children. Who’s to say optimism is bad? I wish you a nice healthy pregnancy and an adorable healthy little sabra baby!

  2. Yeah, I love your positive thinking, you are sure you’ll have a baby. I think that Hashem agrees and wants to bring down the brocha…how about if you act like it’s something that needs to be toiveld but can’t be immersed and sell it your non-jewish neighbor for $1 and “borrow” it…..or rent a u-store place and put it there……or give it to a gmach in the zechus of a child….or accept yourself for who you are and pray.
    I haven’t seen anything about your feelings about your husbands results….do you feel like too much is on your shoulders?

  3. There isn’t a halachic prohibition against purchasing baby supplies before the baby comes home. It is purely superstition that drives that particular custom.

    I think it’s beautiful that you have faith in Hashem that you will have a baby. I never believe any particular treatment cycle will work for me, but I have complete faith that eventually something will work.

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