What to Expect When You’re Not Expecting

Let the betting begin

December 24, 2007 · 8 Comments

It’s funny how when you find out you’re pregnant that all of a sudden there were all these obvious signs that you missed before.

Food tastes funny and I have no appetite whatsoever. I am forcing myself to eat, which is a first for me. I crave all things protein and dairy: cream cheese, scrambled eggs, meatballs and chicken. And beans. Which isn’t going over so well down below. It’s like a symphony every time I potty.

I have been sleeping anywhere from 12 to 15 hours a day. My breasts hurt so much I may never shower again. I almost ripped the shower head right out of the wall when the water stream connected with a very sore nipple.

And I’m all boogery and drooly. I pee constantly. Thank God Israrail trains have bathrooms on them.

The funniest thing is that I am already so bored with all my pregnancy books. I have two on nutrition (What to Eat When You’re Expecting and Every Woman’s Guide to Eating During Pregnancy) and two on pregnancy in general (What to Expect and The Girlfriend’s Guide). My advice? If you’re trying to conceive, read them now. You may not want to read things like “broccoli” or “casserole” when you’re feeling sick. I can get through a few paragraphs and then I fall asleep. Oh well. I read them all before anyhoo.

For the record, I know this isn’t morning sickness. I don’t feel sick, per se, just not hungry. And some things taste funny. I don’t like carbs anymore. Bagels and veggies are dead to me.

The exhaustion is unlike anything else. It really feels as though I’m permanently on nighttime cold medicine. I sat down for a minute while the hubby used the bathroom and fell asleep on a couch at IKEA.

The emotions take some getting used to. I saw a little kiddie size table and chairs and managed to limit my sobbing to just a few tears and gaspy breaths. Note to self: No more IKEA for a while.

Of course, no complaints throughout all of it.

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And now, what you’ve all been waiting for. How many beans are in the Kirby?

Your choices are: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 or more. Post your guesses in the comment. The winner gets my leftover Gonal F and Ovidrel trigger shot. :)

Categories: first trimester: the dark days of hg
Tagged: , , , , ,

8 responses so far ↓

  • rachinbar // December 24, 2007 at 9:24 pm | Reply

    I love your description of the early pregnancy symptoms. I was so sure my 2nd IVF had failed that I called the nurse to tell her I wasn’t sure I’d be able to come in for the blood test because I thought I had the flu… She said, “You know what I think?” I never realized it felt like that… (She was right, I was pregnant).

    I keep losing all my pregnancy books (stupidly lending them to people I end up never seeing again, like my ex-sister-in-law and an ex-friend we don’t really have anything to do with). Unfortunately I haven’t found one that was really that amazing – my favorites are A Child is Born (that doesn’t have enough about early pregnancy) and there was another one put out by Johnson & Johnson that I liked, but you only got to flip the page every 4 weeks…

    Morning sickness to me was the whole awful way I felt until it finally went away (for me around 9-10 weeks), including feeling way too tired.

    I’ll bet on 1, but a really, really cute one :-)

  • Rona Michelson // December 24, 2007 at 9:26 pm | Reply

    I think it’s going to be one super-fantastic fabulous little one, just like his/her Abba and Eema!

    And hold the Gonal F and Ovidel….please

  • Kirby // December 24, 2007 at 9:41 pm | Reply

    Lest my bet not be counted, I say two.

  • thestirrupqueen // December 24, 2007 at 10:12 pm | Reply

    I’m going to have to eat my words and get on a plane :-) Congratulations!!! And I’m putting down my vote for two just because mama knows best…

  • Bella // December 24, 2007 at 10:14 pm | Reply

    I’ll put in for 2, but I’ve only ever won a “guess the beans” thing once at a Bat Mitzvah in 6th grade! So excited for you! In my first trimester I was pleased to note that I lost all desire for sweets, but that returned in the second trimester with a vengeance!

  • Malky B. // December 24, 2007 at 10:40 pm | Reply

    My guess is two and don’t worry about the lower back pain – I had it with 2 of my pregnancies in the first few weeks. It went away after that!

  • triLcat // December 25, 2007 at 1:01 am | Reply

    Guessing 2 (as previously stated). And I have a pregnancy book that I liked a lot more than “what to expect.”

    I’ll send you the rest of what I started to blab about in an email.

  • JoAnne // December 26, 2007 at 4:55 pm | Reply

    OOOo This is such wonderful news!!!! I just caught up, and OMG!
    I am going to guess a very happy snuggly singleton! I also suck at quessing the “anything” game though.
    Wow.. Just Wow!

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